Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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