No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize