Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
