I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
