i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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