I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
