Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
