Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
