You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
