Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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