the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
