I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He better not be in your backpack
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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