u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
