im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
