My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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