I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
