and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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