I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
