never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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