Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
