I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
