I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
