Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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