Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize