he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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