Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
