i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
