Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
