Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
farters have to be the big spoon...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
