Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Non-Jews are for practice
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
