If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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