I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
