Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
