There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
