She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
