"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
