I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
