Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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