Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
