I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
