She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Congratulations! We have a period
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
