I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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