She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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