i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
