Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
being pregnant is like rehab
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
