i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
