did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
