Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
