Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
