a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i think my tv is drunk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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