And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
