I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
