sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
