Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
