Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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