My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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