you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize