I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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