I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
