Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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