I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
