Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
