I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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