What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Your tits are I can't wait for
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
