I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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