So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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