i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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