oh god the rape fog is back!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
